I realized a problem with my writing: I’ve reached a soft limit of how I can communicate. There’s a lot to unpack, so let’s analogize with my cheap “pawn shop special” bass: it fulfills all my limited needs when it comes to learning the basics. I can pluck strings and learn chord progression. I don’t mind tuning it whenever I’m serious about playing it. Now if I wanted to play with others or even professionally…
 Oops! Forgot about publishing this. Well, plenty has changed over the past 13 weeks and 92 publications. I originally made these “Betzom check-ins” primarily to comment on how I’ve evolved as a writer, with a slight convenience being something easy to write about. These past 92 days have seen my biggest launching in success yet, and I’m only poised to go succeed more from here… so much so that I didn’t even need the crutch of this essay.
I’ll be in a different space when this publishes. Different job, different experiences… different lifestyle? The space I’m in as I’m writing this in late August is mostly a negative space. The veneer is nice and I’m meeting great people that are generous with sharing themselves, yet deep down, it doesn’t feel right. There are malaise and disquiet rumbling underneath my psyche. Why isn’t it good? Let’s explore, to help the “me” of October 13th.
Every short story or essay I publish here gets added to the “Betzom,” or, a comprehensive calendar that helps me summarize the past – 13 weeks, 92 publications, and over 46,000 words – into a singular idea that I can digest before moving on. We shouldn’t hold onto our past mistakes or achievements. Everything is a stepping stone toward something better. Rather than consider specific passages, let’s broadly consider how three months of effort can lead to improvement on change.
I can envision the final scene of the Pollyanna Arc of “The Story” so clearly in my mind. Everything from the white linoleum tiles to the characters. It’s just there are hurdles to address. Primarily, an ending requires a story to precede it, the skill of which I am not yet confident I can write. Secondarily, the world of John [left] and Trishna [right] are not “there” yet. Tertiarily… let’s back up a few steps.
Spoilers?: Minor (brainstorming, worldbuilding, character-building)
WANNA CONSIDER HOW, AS YOU’RE WORLDBUILDING YOUR OWN STORIES, YOU SHOULD LOOK FOR INSPIRATION EVERYWHERE? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!
I realized a problem with myself: I wasn’t writing daily. Even though I was publishing essays daily, there were days I’d only write a few hundred words, so I agreed to dedicate myself to writing at least 500 words daily. If you want to be something, do it daily. This dedication has taken discipline, sacrifice, and stress. There are still days where I don’t write 500 words. Through all that, here are 425 words on what I learned:
I’ve had to shelve and nearly scrap 1000 publishable words. They’re good words that tell two good short stories. It’s just the series lead in a direction that won’t accomplish what I’m trying to do with the Sammohini Arc of “The Story.” 90% of it should be fiction practice and 10% should build context for John and Trishna’s Arc, the final and most ambitious story arc. Here’s why I haven’t dived in and started telling their developing story.
Spoilers?: Minor (my writing process)
WANNA SEE SOME BEHIND THE SCENES THOUGHTS AND EFFORTS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!