The anxiety wouldn’t stop, no matter what I tried. Everything I could think of to fix the anxiety just didn’t work. All I had to do was ride it out until it finally subsided by an external force – the anxiety had been caused over an inability to do something important and having to defer to others, which I know is a pride thing, but the problem is that the solution is not always that predictable.
How do you keep your head above water? When you’re shoulder-deep in the stresses of life, do you just paddle along and hope to reach shore? Do you reach out to the first available source of help? Rarely are we just suddenly thrown into the murky stress waters that can consume us. We can usually see it coming. The sooner we identify that we’re about to hit those waters, the faster we can get out.
My water bottle clanged on the floor. “Sorry a-bough-t that.” I said as I swooped up the offending bottle in a half-dozed stupor. “It’s uhh-kay.” Would life be better without these sorts of embarrassing interactions? Without these grimy grimaces, how can we know what glittery glory feels like? Perhaps it would be nicer to be free of stress, anxiety, and worries over the thises and thats of life, but sometimes that friction leads to more!
“You look sicker than normal.”
The younger furniture mover reclined in her seat, cradling her dark-orange water bottle.
“Yeah. I feel it, too.”
The older mover readjusted his faded red cap and looked over.
“Maybe you should go home?”
She looked pale.
“My nausea is tolerable, headache manageable… and I need the hours.”
The older mover started up the truck for their morning route.
“At least it’s a short run. We should be back by 11.”
Meal portions are too large. It takes a certain discipline to have a meal, like this 5-star chicken alfredo, decide to only eat half, and commit to that. Especially when the second half won’t be as good: the chicken too cold, the spaghetti too burned, the atmosphere too dull. Yet, practicing the discipline to say, “no, I’m good” to overindulgence is probably the third greatest feeling in life. This delaying gratification becomes easier with practice.
There is probably no entity that would willingly advocate for the endless ubiquitous pain of every creature in the universe. If there were, that creature would be so mauled by negative emotions, unable to dispell them, that they would thrash out in so much agony that the results would destroy everything in sight. What a twisted, terrible fate! Yet, how easy is it to fall into that trap? It just takes a few bad days…
I operate with a hot/cold approach to doing work. While I’m overheating my brain by writing, my body should be cooling itself off in a relaxed state. When I’ve completed my writing for that part of the day, my mind is thoroughly emptied, so then I can dispell some of that physical energy into a rowing set or doing some other physically laborious activity. When I’m both mentally and physically tired, I sleep almost instantaneously!