Although I can see the perspective that we should learn as much as we can about as many different systems as we can, there are limitations on the amount of time we can spend on things. We should focus on things that inspire us the most. What if an item is good, but not good enough to be one of those upper echelon items? When is it justified to walk away during the boring parts?
Besides the rush of getting something inexplicably cheap/cool, there’s another reason I might have fallen into the trap of materialism: Buying stuff can help you feel better. I still haven’t figured out why exactly. Writing about this could help me figure out the answer. Maybe it’s exchanging some paper for something more tangible or substantial? Maybe it’s talking to someone new? While it’s a pain to wait in line, there is something about corporate upbeatness.
I never once held a house party in seven years. What would be the point of inviting many guests over? The lie I told myself was that I would, someday, so I bought party games or got furniture that could host many people. Then as the clutter suffocated the house, it became an impossible dream. Now, I don’t have a need for anything more than a few chairs, some tables, and maybe, possibly, a couch.
I’ve been looking at apartments casually for the past month or so. It’s difficult sometimes. Similar to looking for work, there’s a certain mental barrier to enter where you have to feel in certain spirits, where you can’t let this or that bother you, and you have to be willing to wade through menial ads. I have my criteria to help me refine my searches. Certain autonomous qualities I won’t compromise on; not yet, really.
The first Dr. Octopus sat, proud. The second sat hidden behind some Cloaks and some Daggers, a black-suited Daredevil, and other equally less interesting characters. Now I don’t mean that in a snide way. They’re good characters that should be presented in respectfully designed, highly articulated, and professional plastic toys. It’s just for me, now, none of these characters represented core aspects of my personality, iconoclastic role models, or my favorite inspirational heroes. Overly critical?
When I started my career in technical support, the people I admired the most had the most information. Their years of experience, context, and intuition were inspiring, so of course, throughout my career, I wanted to emulate those well-informed individuals. I no longer need esoteric technical knowledge to that degree. Why hold onto most of it? I would only read passages on occasion, anyways. Best to keep one or two references then donate the rest.
My VHS collection sat for months, inconveniently blocking an aisleway, intentionally being an intentional eyesore. Incidentally, with months of packing, donating, and keeping context, and a renewed interest in watching occasional movies, I’ve purged anything that I can watch in a higher definition or anything that isn’t rare/resellable. VHS represents a particular aesthetic for me, so if I’m going to enjoy it, it needs to be manageable, otherwise, I won’t want to deal with it.