Yesterday, I dropped off one large box of miscellaneous stuff. Today, I closed the books on another large box. Over the years, I accumulated a collection of over 400 music cassette tapes. Now, I’m going through each tape to catalog whether I’m keeping it or donating it. Even after reaching the apex of my collecting habits and the nadir of my long-term goals, I’d like to send them all off the same way they came in.
I fought off hordes of thieves and had a value-assessment-ray in a dream last night. Since my dreams are mostly forgettable, or merely context specific defragmentations of recent life events, I had fun! It was still just fragments of the previous day, where the hordes were inspired by a dumb Walking Dead arcade game and the value ray was based on a turn in my writing from “Cluster Restricts Options,” and a key collectability realization.
I have two bags of VHS tapes to donate soon, as I’m also soon bringing over another carload of stored stuff. The more I downsize, the less it feels like I’ve downsized. The hallways are clearer and there’s less stuff blocking other stuff, it’s just… I keep unearthing more stuff to sort through, and increasingly, less of it interests me. Why keep anything that doesn’t immediately excite or inspire you? Just to “have” it around?
I donated around 100 records some months ago. I don’t remember how many, just their overall mass. I kept my then-favorites, most of which I’ll sell off after I sell the records in this bag. I thought of bringing this to-sell bag along to my first Record Store Day, but they were too busy selling. It was fun walking through some music shops searching for my CD essentials – Nirvana and GUITAR WOLF – and walking away empty-handed.
After over twelve weeks of addressing clutter in all areas of my life, I have to learn to get used to empty [shelf] space. Even three months ago, I couldn’t leave any surface without something to fill or clutter it, yet now, I almost struggle to fill the shelves with stuff. I will probably half-fill this plastic shelving unit I cleared off over the next few days, but it’s not the urgent rush it’s been.
Putting away these 90s X-Men toys has been the hardest thing for me to do since I began pummeling my psyche’s hoarding tendencies after Thanksgiving. I kept a majority of my stuff, donated some, but these… they impersonated many of the same toys I had as a kid. I still have them all. Whether they’re painted over or not, I boxed them up fairly easily, but these were harder. I’m trying to figure out why…
All of this stuff I’ve collected over the years is forcing me into expensive housing to store all of it. It’s overwhelming to the point of losing time due to constant anxiety and stressful to the point of being unable to pack. I’m having trouble focusing and can’t enjoy leisurely activities. I won’t be able to afford the space or stuff for too long. Why not just throw out everything that isn’t irreplaceable or sentimental?