As part of continued progression for our loyal employees here at Digi-Tech, we’re introducing the Comprehensive Employee Plan or “CEP” in collaboration with PsycHealing. The plan is simple! CEP will monitor every task you do throughout your day, both at work and at home, to predictively analyze anything we can do to help you work at peak performance! Let’s follow Sandeep in Accounting as we helped him become our employee of the month!
Sandeep joined three years ago.
He’s always been a hard worker, but about three months prior to CEP, we’d noticed a subtle dip in his performance. Managers and colleagues noted that he seemed well. He was one of the first to volunteer for the CEP collar six months ago. Within one month of wearing the fashionable item, available in white or steel green, PsycHealing returned a report advising Sandeep see an intestinal doctor. His bowel movement times were outside of normal thresholds, especially at night. Doctors found a malaise affecting poor Sandeep. We’re happy to report that Sandeep is now one of our top performers!
CEP can also detect benign issues.
In just two weeks of learning your physiology patterns, PsycHealing can make accurate (up to 93.5% without seeing a doctor) determinations about your overall health. If your normal food consumption for evening dinner is 900 calories, and CEP detects an increase of that amount to 1,800 calories on Wednesday and Thursday evenings only, a discreet report is sent to your manager asking that your workload be reassessed to decrease your overall stress levels. If CEP detects that you are getting a solid eight hours of sleep nightly, then a suggestion is sent along to your manager to increase your workload!
There are other benefits as well!
Within one month of wearing the CEP collar, PsycHealing can start to make predictions about underlying psychological issues. Jane in Marketing had a habit of sleeping in on Thursdays. She’d always arrive five minutes before her scheduled start time, but compared to other days in the week, her blood pressure was dramatically higher throughout the day and especially as she sped to arrive at work on time. PsycHealing sent along a detailed report of her average blood pressure readings throughout the week and in collaboration with her manager determined there were Thursday morning meetings that were causing Jane more stress.
With retraining, Jane remains calm throughout the week!
Employees that enroll within the next thirty days will receive 50% off their first year wearing CEP. Employees that wait past ninety days will be encouraged to enroll with a 10% pay cut for each month not enrolled in the Comprehensive Employee Plan up to six months. Any employees that are not interested in becoming their best and helping Digi-Tech become the best company it can be are encouraged to speak with their manager about transition strategies so we can quickly shift your workload to more loyal employees. We appreciate your compliance. We are only acting in your best interests!
Your Most Compassionate Employer,
(Writing prompt inspired by someone.)