Yesterday, I went to the thrift store and the supermarket. I had the physicality to push a shopping cart and walk around slowly as I looked at various items. Today, I woke up to a headache with lower back pain, including my tailbone. Was the adventure worth the pain I experienced there, and would I do it again? I suppose in some sense, it was good to see where my physicality is at right now.
When I try to think of the positives of this whole experience Tripping On [The American Healthcare System], in a sense, it’s gifted me this wild ride that rivals any soap opera. I’ve never had much interest in soap operas because the relationships and conflicts we experience in reality isn’t something I consider much about when I meander through media, but I guess my experiences could be made into decent soap opera, in some regards.
If we’re patient when waiting in line, sometimes, we can reflect on the actions we do. The person ahead of me in line to drop off donations had a sports-utility-vehicle filled with various boxes and furniture items. I had one humble box. Through pure coincidence, someone purchasing an item in line ahead of mine seemed to have a furniture item matching that donated item; except it was merely a generic item; it wasn’t the same.
I’ve been procrastinating on processing some important documentation because I didn’t have the energy to deal with that degree of mental gymnastics. I understand, somewhat, why the burden of information falls on the patient, but it’s just as easy for them to get the information they need that I’ve provided to every other company through their secure forms. No company or representative I work with wants to work with each other. That’s my procrastinating burden.
I recently inherited a Clutch Discord server. The old server owner was going to delete it until I offered to take over and manage it. Over the past few days, I’ve added, removed, and changed around enough settings to expand it into a general music discussion server. As the idiom goes, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. I think about that when donating things or throwing things away. What if no one wants this?
It’s been six weeks since my spine surgery. The timing with these essays is a little tricky. I figure I’d rather write these essays as chronologically as I can, and I didn’t have the energy to write an essay yesterday to fill the Sunday slot, so just consider it six weeks for writing rather than publication. That said, I’m finally starting to feel well enough to do some basic tasks without feeling like I can’t.
In Part-One, I covered the rough logistical plans for Betterslog. It’s important to have the groundfloor work cleared up first, both in one’s personal life and in terms of what they want to accomplish when starting a business. I didn’t before I started my little business shortly before starting Better Zombie. If I had, well, I might not have started it and received that experience, but now I know what plans work well for me.
I think the reason why I’ve been feeling weak over the past few weeks was because I had an infection in my spine wound. It wasn’t anything serious. I didn’t have a fever; nothing looked infected. I’m still rather fatigued but I’m only about a third of the way through my antibiotics. I felt the sickest immediately after taking my first dose and second sickest yesterday. In exchange, I’ve felt more mobile and less fatigued.
I couldn’t brainstorm any ideas for “The Story” since I’ve been sick. Instead, I’ll write a two-parter about my current business strategy for Betterslog, the publishing business I still intend to create. Betterslog will start as a way to publish my essays and novels so I can fully retain legal ownership, expand that idea out to other writers, then expand into other ventures. This essay is all practical. Tomorrow’s essay will contain the loftier goals.
It’s easy to lose hope within the American Healthcare System. It is a system designed to beat your motivation and incentivizes victimization through repeated misdirections. I hate the situation I’m in and I do admit to escaping from it through focusing on media meandries more often than maybe I should, but it’s a coping mechanism in feeling lost within a system that can easily wipe out my bank account and drive me into utter despair.